Someone at my work asked me a question today.
She asked me if I had asked my soon to be ex-husband why he left. No, I answered. She looked at me funny but she could tell from my tone that she shouldn't go any further with her inquiries.
Why? It is certainly a legitimate question.
Why did he leave after 19 years of marriage?
Why did he move out but swear to us that he was coming back?
Why had he always promised me that divorce was not an option?
Why did he get a girlfriend right away who he is already moving in with?
Yet, I know that I will never get answers to these questions, and would it matter? Would it begin to heal my broken heart? It has been six months now since he left and I don't have many answers only more questions.
Does he ever regret his decision?
How long had he been thinking about leaving?
How long had he been seeing "her"? I
s he actually considering having kids now with her since she is 23 years younger than him?
Let's be honest though! The real "Why?" questions should be:
Why do I miss someone who made me miserable and treated me badly for years?
Why am I unable to believe that I will have a bright and happy future and be able to love again and be loved in a way I had always wanted?
Why am I unable to see that this is probably the greatest gift the universe could have given to me?
But for now I will continue my grieving and growing process......
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