What I do not want to hear right now while starting my divorce:
1. "I never liked him much anyways" - Really? And now you tell me?
2. "He's treated you badly for years" - Unless you have been telling me this throughout my marriage, now is not the time to bring this one up.
3. "Start going to the gym" - Seriously? It takes everything I have just to get out of bed everyday. The last thing I can think about, is getting in shape and finally getting that awesome body I have wanted for years.
4. "Every time you see him, look your best" - So it's not enough for me to have to get out of bed everyday, now I have to look great too? It a huge accomplishment if I get myself to shower and brush my teeth.
5. "Just take care of yourself" - Well, I eat, I sleep, I work, I see my therapist, so isn't that taking care of myself? Yes, I would love to go to a spa right now and really take care of myself, but since that isn't going to happen...
6. "Act like it doesn't bother you"- So when I see the man that I have loved for 20 years now, I am supposed to act like it doesn't bother me that he doesn't want to be with me anymore? Well although I graduated from The American Academy of Dramatic Arts, I am just not that good of an actress sorry!
7. "Don't file, just wait him out" - How long??? Sorry but I have a 17 year old daughter so I have to think about the advice I would give to her in this situation! Role model.....
8. "So is there another woman?" - Would he really admit it if there was? And whether or not there is, do I really want to think about that? And don't give me that look like, "you know there must be another woman right, so don't kid yourself."
9. "He is going to screw you over in the divorce" - I don't want to hear how bad your divorce was and I don't want to hear all the ways he can "screw me over". This is the most awful time, do I need to be scared too?
10. "If I had known how difficult divorce was going to be on me and my children, I would have stayed in my lousy divorce" - Well that statement sure makes me feel optimistic and hopeful about my future!
11. "He's having a mid life crisis" - ok does it matter why or what we call it? The bottom line remains the same.....
12. "There are no decent single men out there" - I don't want to hear how long you have been single. I don't want to hear about all your awful dating experiences or how you haven't been able to find any nice single guys. If you are miserable and bitter, please keep it to yourself right now.
13. "Don't focus on him, just focus on yourself" - This is kind of like telling someone who has been a siamese twin for 20 years, after being surgically separated suddenly, not to think about the other person. It sounds like simple advice but I want to punch people who say it to me!
